Contemplations As A Pregnancy Draws To An End

Do you ever feel like a giant hot mess? That's me, right now, minus the hot. Our move to Charlotteville is coming up so quickly and it seems like I'm adding 10 things to my to-do list every day. I'm struggling to keep on top of everything going on in my life. I guess it's a good thing I don't really have a social life right now or else my world would really be spinning out of control!

Perhaps I just think that I can do too much or maybe it's just that I WANT to do too much. I know there's no such thing as a real life super mom, but that's what I want to be. I want to be the mom whose house is always clean, or at least picked up. I want to be the mom that makes three meals a day for her family. I want to be the mom that is insanely crafty and always making fun new things. I want to teach myself any craft I decide to try my hand at. I want to look great, exercise, feel great, be as healthy as I can be. I want to run a kick butt photography business with all the skills to back it up. I want to be amazing. All the while having plenty of family time and never feeling like I'm neglecting my kids to achieve all this.

I'm thinking the likelihood of all that happening is slim to none, yet it doesn't stop me from wanting or wishing for it. With the move coming up and Lucas's birth coming at me like a freight train I'm really seeing my inadequacies when it comes to being the person I want to be. I think often about the Proverbs 31 woman and wonder if I'm ever going to get anywhere close to that. If my life is so crazy right now with only one boy, is it going to spin totally out of control when Lucas arrives? This is what occupies my mind in the late hours of the night, as I'm lying in bed, unable to sleep. Maybe pregnancy just makes you extra crazy.